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5 tips for talking about your pronouns

and what to do when you get misgendered.

This guide is here to help you feel confident in telling others about your pronouns, correcting mistakes, and feeling okay when things get tough.

1. Telling Others About Your Pronouns:

  • Listen to Yourself: Think about if it feels safe and okay to tell someone your pronouns. 

  • Keep it Simple: Just say, "I use [pronouns]" in short chats.

  • Save Big Talks: Save longer talks about your pronouns for close friends and family.

2. Practice:

  • Practice: With a supportive friend or in the mirror, do grounding exercises and practice saying your pronouns. 

  • Decide what to keep to yourself: Practice answering personal questions by saying “that’s personal” or “I don’t want to talk about that”

3. Fixing Pronoun Mistakes:

  • Let them know: You can say, "Actually, I use [pronouns]." and then be quiet or continue talking as normal. 

  • Keep Trying: If it keeps happening you can continue to state your pronouns.

4. Ways to Feel Better and Get Help:

  • Find Friends: Hang out with people who understand and support you.

  • Let out Frustration: Find ways to express your feelings, like: art, support groups, journaling, and dancing.

  • Do Self Care: Practice things that help you feel a little better such as looking at pretty colors around the room, deep breaths, or feeling your feet on the floor. 

  • Watch Trans Joy: Find stories, pictures, videos, and texts about trans and nonbinary people that feel good. Bookmark these or print them out so you can look at them often.

  • Cast Spells: Find magic ways to protect yourself and feel strong. Such as, doing makeup as protection or asking local plants to support you.

5. Dealing with Misgendering (Pronoun Mistakes) Happening Often:

  • Talk About It: If you feel able, tell them how it feels and remind them of your pronouns.

  • Set Boundaries: If it keeps happening, it's okay to say you need space.

  • Stick Together: Stay close to friends who get you and help you feel strong.

Remember, you're awesome just as you are! Keep being you, find support when you need it, and know you're not alone.

If you found this helpful, check out Staying True for NeuroQueers, where we will go deeper into self care, boundaries, and building community. Click below to register and learn more:

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