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What is a gender doula?

When I tell people what I do, the first question is often: what is a gender doula?

Doula is a term often used to describe people who help tend big life events: birth, death, abortion, gender transition, etc. The term gender doula is relatively new but describes a role that has likely existed as long as humans have: helping people come into a more authentic expression of their gender. This can include interrogating and releasing old gender patterns, playing with gender, finding clothes that bring gender joy, navigating medical systems, and more.

What might I work on with a gender doula?

Gender doulas often have a wide range of skills and each of us has unique strengths. My work is very intuitive and tailored to your specific needs. This can look like: working together to call a doctor or insurance company about gender affirming surgery, figuring out what to say when asking for hormone replacement therapy, coming up with a care plan and mapping resources, talking through ways to come out to family, doing a grounding meditation together, coming up with resources for gender dysphoria, and more.

Does a gender doula only help with people who are going through a medical gender transition?

No, anyone can work with a gender doula regardless of identity or transition goals. There are many trans and nonbinary people who find ways to live and express gender congruence without ever taking hormones or having surgery. There are also many cisgender people who want to break free from limiting stories about what it means to “be a man” or “be a woman”. A gender doula can help anyone with their unique goals.

How can a gender doula support family members of someone who is trans or nonbinary?

Often when one person in a family comes out as trans, the whole family now goes through a process of change. This can look like using new pronouns, navigating telling schools and doctors, and addressing internalized discomfort. Gender doulas can provide education and also support family members through this process to help things feel less overwhelming.

If you want to ask me directly “what is a gender doula?”, you can sign up for one of my free consultation sessions and we can review what I do.

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